Category: Wedding Advice

Mother of the Groom Roles and Responsibilites

Posted on by Glendalough Manor

Are you a Mother of the Groom that is not sure what your roles and responsibilities are?  Well, you are not alone. There are many other parents unsure how to tread these sometimes uncharted waters.  Recently at Glendalough Manor we met a Mother of the Bride that was discussing how her son was also getting married and planning a wedding at the same time as her daughter.  She was now acting as the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom.  She expressed how different the experience was on each side. As a Mother of the Bride you are involved in the entire process but as a Mother of the Groom the roles and responsibilities aren’t as clear.

Photo provided by Indulgy

Below we have listed guidelines on the roles and responsibilities you should adopt as a Mother of the Groom.

-Custom dictates that the parents of the groom contact the parents of the bride to set up a dinner to talk and celebrate the engagement with the couple.  If you live in different states this may not be as easy but a simple phone call can make all the difference.

Photo provided by 143 Bridal

-You will also need to set up a time to talk with your son and his fiance about financial responsibilities. Although there is no hard rule, traditionally the parents of the groom are responsible for:

the rehearsal dinner
the groom’s tux
the bride’s bouquet and boutonnieres for the groomsmen
transportation to and from the ceremony/reception
Honeymoon
Ceremony Officiant

-Create a list of guests from the groom’s side to submit to the bride.  Remember to stick to the allotted number you are allowed to invite even if this may be difficult.  If you are having difficulties make sure to talk openly with your son and bride-to-be to find a way to come to an agreement. This may mean paying for the additional guests you would like to invite.

Photo provided by Philly Mag

-Offer to help!  In some cases, the bride may need help with researching wedding vendors.  More commonly the craft projects, seating assignments, out of town guest arrangements and any other tedious work leading up to the wedding can be the most stressful and a helping hand is always appreciated.

Photo by TomBow USA

-Recommend songs for the mother/son dance for the reception.

Photo provided by Elegant Event Entertainment

-Ask the bride to accompany you or give suggestions on what to wear for your Mother of the Groom dress.  It is also nice to discuss your thoughts with the Mother of the Bride to see what she will be wearing.

-Plan and Host the rehearsal dinner (the groom’s family traditionally pays for this event); make sure to involve bride and groom in major decisions. For example, location and food selections to ensure they are okay with your choices.

We hope this list has helped and given you guidance on the best practices as a Mother of the Groom.

Remember, this is not your wedding and some decisions will be made you may not agree with. Find a way to work through any disagreements with your son and bride-to-be.  This process should be a fun and exciting experience for both sides of the family so enjoy it and let some things go.  Having a great relationship with your son and future daughter in law are what will be the most important thing in the end.

Happy Planning!

Who to Tip at Your Wedding!

Posted on by Glendalough Manor

Who would have thought that tipping at a wedding could be so controversial and complicated?!?  Everyone has a different view on whom and how much to tip!  I have put together some simple guidelines to help you navigate the world of tipping.

First, make sure to decide BEFORE the wedding (not the day of) which vendors and how much you would like to tip.  No one wants to decide tips on the day of the wedding.

Next reread and double check your contract!  Some gratuities are built in to your contract and you wouldn’t want to tip twice.

Here are some of the vendors that are traditionally tipped and an average amount that is appropriate:

Hairstylist/ Makeup Artist: A standard tip for the makeup and hairstylists is 15-20% of the total amount of the bill.

Officiant, Church Musicians, etc.: Many times these “tips” are built in to the church contract.  If these fees are not included for church musicians or other members in attendance an average of $50 per musician/helper is satisfactory.  Most officiants will not accept tips however you can give a donation to the church anywhere from $100-$300 for their service.

Bartenders: Check to see if the facility has a policy with tipping the bartenders.  If you decide to tip the bartenders make sure they do not put out a tip jar during the event. Typically you would tip the bartenders 10% of the alcohol bill to be split amongst the bartenders.

Waitstaff, Bathroom attendants, Coat Check Attendants:  Again, check to make sure that  these tips were not included in your gratuities when signing the contract with either your facility or caterer.  Usually these fees are included.  If not, $10-$20 per server and .50- $1 per person for the bathroom and coat check attendants.

Chef:  If the food is tasty $100+

Catering Manager: Usually 1-3% of the menu total or between $100 and $200

DJ: If they keep the party rockin’ 15% of the service fee

Vendors such as the Photographer, Florist and Cake Baker are not usually tipped. My advice is that if they go above and beyond a tip of 10% is appreciated.

Limo/Transportation: Usually this is included in the fee.  If not, 15% of fee is customary.

Wedding Planner: If your planner goes above and beyond to make your day special 2% of the total wedding amount is appropriate (or 10-15% of the package price)

Although some vendors expect a tip, tipping is not mandatory.  Remember that the key to tipping is to tip those people who go above and beyond their contractual agreement.  If you are on a tight budget, this may not be a reality to tip every vendor.

My advice is that even a small amount shows your appreciation. Never feel like you are not tipping enough so you decide to not tip at all.  Trust me, it will be appreciated.

Remember that a thank you letter and your testimonial can mean a whole lot.  Word of mouth is how many of these vendors grow their business. If they went above and beyond for you, make sure to share your experience and story.  Sometimes that means more to them than any amount of money!

Good luck and happy tipping!

Picture Sources: www.onewed.com, www.brides.com, www.theknottybride.com

Bridesmaids: Not “Maid” of Money

Posted on by Glendalough Manor

I was researching topics for the blog and came across an article at Daily Infographic that made my jaw drop.  We all know that being a bridesmaid was expensive but I guess I never sat down to try and figure out exactly how expensive it was.  The Daily Infographic estimates that bridesmaids spend around $1,695 just to be in a wedding!  This is especially true if you live out of town and have travel expenses.

Wow!!

I tried to come up with a few ways that you as the bride may be able to help ease the financial obligation.

One way to help with costs is to choose an affordable bridesmaid dress. There are so many ways brides can choose inexpensive dresses.  Some brides are asking their maids to wear a simple little black dress. Many of them will probably already have a dress they can wear in their closet! Or you can go to a site like BridesMaid Trade or Rent the Runway and rent (or buy) gently used dresses!

If your bridesmaids live out of town, only make them travel once other than the wedding.  You can always plan the bachelorette party on a Friday and your wedding shower on Sunday (maybe a day in between to recuperate!;))

Buy your bridesmaids accessories to wear on the wedding day as bridesmaids gifts.  This way they can wear them on the wedding day as well as after the wedding and it helps keeps their costs down!

Ask your bridesmaids in lieu of engagement, shower,and wedding gifts to be a part of your wedding instead.  These multiple gifts can add up and I am sure you would rather your friend be in your wedding than get you a set of china.  I know I would!!

We hope these suggestions have helped!

If you know of more ways brides can help ease the bridesmaid budget, please let us know!

Picture Sources: www.dailyinfographic.com, www.onewed.com, www.bridesmaidtrade.com