Are you a Mother of the Groom that is not sure what your roles and responsibilities are? Well, you are not alone. There are many other parents unsure how to tread these sometimes uncharted waters. Recently at Glendalough Manor we met a Mother of the Bride that was discussing how her son was also getting married and planning a wedding at the same time as her daughter. She was now acting as the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom. She expressed how different the experience was on each side. As a Mother of the Bride you are involved in the entire process but as a Mother of the Groom the roles and responsibilities aren’t as clear.
Below we have listed guidelines on the roles and responsibilities you should adopt as a Mother of the Groom.
-Custom dictates that the parents of the groom contact the parents of the bride to set up a dinner to talk and celebrate the engagement with the couple. If you live in different states this may not be as easy but a simple phone call can make all the difference.
-You will also need to set up a time to talk with your son and his fiance about financial responsibilities. Although there is no hard rule, traditionally the parents of the groom are responsible for:
the rehearsal dinner
the groom’s tux
the bride’s bouquet and boutonnieres for the groomsmen
transportation to and from the ceremony/reception
-Create a list of guests from the groom’s side to submit to the bride. Remember to stick to the allotted number you are allowed to invite even if this may be difficult. If you are having difficulties make sure to talk openly with your son and bride-to-be to find a way to come to an agreement. This may mean paying for the additional guests you would like to invite.
-Offer to help! In some cases, the bride may need help with researching wedding vendors. More commonly the craft projects, seating assignments, out of town guest arrangements and any other tedious work leading up to the wedding can be the most stressful and a helping hand is always appreciated.
-Recommend songs for the mother/son dance for the reception.
-Ask the bride to accompany you or give suggestions on what to wear for your Mother of the Groom dress. It is also nice to discuss your thoughts with the Mother of the Bride to see what she will be wearing.
-Plan and Host the rehearsal dinner (the groom’s family traditionally pays for this event); make sure to involve bride and groom in major decisions. For example, location and food selections to ensure they are okay with your choices.
We hope this list has helped and given you guidance on the best practices as a Mother of the Groom.
Remember, this is not your wedding and some decisions will be made you may not agree with. Find a way to work through any disagreements with your son and bride-to-be. This process should be a fun and exciting experience for both sides of the family so enjoy it and let some things go. Having a great relationship with your son and future daughter in law are what will be the most important thing in the end.